We started a contemporary-arts emergency alert service that sends alerts to your mobile phone while you're having sex. These emergencies aren't fabricated to arise at the moment of climax; on the contrary, emergencies in the art world are occurring all the time, every minute, every .000001th of a minute. But by only alerting you of these endless crises inter-coitus, our system allows you to exercise your priorities, to demonstrate that contemporary culture comes first - over your relationship, your birth control, your #pussydrama. Kalert reminds you to sublimate your earthly pleasures and affections, your petty attempts at interpersonal domination, to bow down before the yawning sine wave of cultural production. This is what it means to collaborate.